Sydney

I am writing from my Mom and Dad's house tonight. After a great morning celebrating Annie, the bride to be, our family packed up the car and made a 3 hour journey South to celebrate my niece's 12th birthday. A pool party with her friends (that, honestly, made me SO nervous about parenting during the middle school years--what an awkward, self conscious age--oh my!) was followed by a delicious family cookout, and an impromptu Wipeout watching party with cousins. One thing is certain, we are all wiped out!

I couldn't help but remember my niece's birth 12 years ago. My amazing sister was 20 and unmarried. At one point as her labor progressed, Boo started crying and said, "I changed my mind. I don't think I can do this."
I remember naively thinking. "Umm, haven't you had 9 months to prepare for this?" The day I delivered my own children I suddenly understood. No woman is ever prepared for the emotions of that moment.

As I was still single and a long way from motherhood, the experience was a bit traumatic for me. I specifically recall when they came in the room to 'break her water' and my Mom encouraged me to stay in the room. I vividly remember telling her is she EVER wanted grandchildren from me she had better let me out of there pronto. I stepped to the other side of the curtain and managed to be terrified just by the soundtrack. How ironic that I never experienced childbirth this way...no water breaking, no pushing, no yelling. Even my sweet sister wound up having a C-section after all that drama.

I remember my Mom, Dad & I holding Sydney while Boo recovered. (Well, maybe not Dad...He was quite afraid he might break her in those early days...now they are best buddies.)

Two weeks after Sydney's birth she stopped breathing and turned blue. Thankfully, she was in her pediatrician's office at the time. She was rushed to a hospital nearby (which did not have a NICU) where she coded repeatedly. All we could do is stand by her bedside and watch. I still remember the pink gingham checked suit I was wearing that day as I paced the halls wondering if after all the strength and resolve my sister had shown in carrying this pregnancy to term without a husband, was it really going to end this way? Sydney was life flighted to Birmingham where a cardiac cath revealed a serious heart defect (Transposition of the Greater Arteries) requiring surgery. Sydney was then flown to Boston for a risky open heart surgery to save her life. My little sister, who had never flown before was suddenly following her desperately ill newborn cross country, unsure of what she might find.

For six long weeks Sydney and Boo were in Boston--with various family members rotating up and back to sit with her. I remember my own short time there...rocking her late one night in the CICU. A tangle of cords cascaded from her little body and cellophane covered her chest to enable quick access if her heart began to fail. I will never forget rocking her and praying with her...whispering in her ear that I knew God must have quite a plan for her life if her testimony was starting this dramatically.

Back then, it seemed impossible to believe that 12 years later she would surpass me in height. (OK, so I am only 5'2") Watching her today as she swam, ran, laughed and played with her friends it seemed impossible to believe she was that fragile little soul we almost lost 12 years ago. But she is...

There are miracles all around us. We must only slow down to look for them and remember what our God has done.

God's voice thunders in marvelous ways; he does great things beyond our understanding. Job 37:5 (NIV)

Back with a Vengeance

This morning I woke up feeling back to my old self again. It is a good thing, because I had A LOT to do after my unexpected week off. I am hosting a bridal brunch in my home tomorrow morning. I had hoped to have the week to prepare. Instead I had a few hours while the children were in day camp to shop, clean, prepare and pick up the things I had ordered.

Did I mention I am also in charge of snacks for our church's Vacation Bible School --and because of a crazy weekend schedule I had to go buy them all today, for 175 children, during that same 4 hour period?

And my eyebrows were desperately in need of a wax...

Additionally, I had promised my children we would do something special this afternoon to thank them for being such good sports while I was sidelined. Of course, they chose Chuck E. Cheese--an hour's drive from our home. So when I picked them up at 12:30, I kept my promise because as P recited excitedly from his memory of the commercials, "It's where kids can play and Mom's relax."

Right. This self-proclaimed germaphobe is going to really relax on a Summer Friday afternoon in a place crawling with children. I know I have issues, but the day after recovering from a nasty virus is not when I am going to take them on...

We did wind up having a great hour of fun on a whopping $10 worth of tokens. After another 20 minutes of deliberations over cheap plastic trinkets, we were on our way home. My guilt offering continued with a stop at Blockbuster and Little Ceasar's...which bought me some more time to prepare for the party this evening.

All is quiet now. The tables are set. The house is clean. Now, Mommy can indeed relax.

55 Minutes

I received this link via e-mail a few days ago. It took a virus for me to relent to sitting still for 55 minutes, but this was ABSOLUTELY worth the investment. What a blessing!

If you can spare an hour, I encourage you to watch this amazing woman's testimony of what a terminal cancer diagnosis has taught her about the TRUTH of life. It puts so much of life into perspective.

"Cancer does not define me. Neither does being a wife or a mother. All these things are part of who I am but they do not define me. What defines me is my relationship with Jesus." -Rachel Barkey

"I am here to serve with joy...If my suffering is the means God uses to bring even one person to Him, it is an honor to suffer." -Rachel Barkey

Cuddles At Any Cost

In the midst of my icky sickness, I was laying my bed resting when K appeared. "Mommy, can I climb in and cuddle wiff you?"
"Oh, sweetie, I would love too, but I have yucky germs. I really don't want to get you sick."
She skipped off only to return momentarily with a bottle of Purell.
"Mommy, I brought you some of this to kill your germs."

Sweet angel.

Love in the Real World

I got bitten by the tummy bug. Although it was not the way I would have preferred to go about it, I did manage to lose 4 pounds in the last 24 hours.

There really is nothing worse than trying to parent energetic children when you feel like you have been hit by a truck. (And, of course, my husband is on call and busy in the OR.) Today definitely will not go down in history as one of my best parenting days. I felt guilty about plopping them in front of a movie so I could rest--but I did what I had to do. Thankfully, by this afternoon I was feeling better and even managed to enjoy a couple of rounds of Candyland with my children.

Last night as my husband was pulling my hair back and treating me with Phenergan (which did not work, by the way) I found myself lamenting real life. I didn't voice it, but my internal dialogue was I am sorry you work so hard and come home to this. I am sorry life is hectic and chaotic. I am sorry life is so full of distractions and stuff (taxes, kids, bills, meetings, illness).

I found myself wishing life could be easy and free of distraction. I could be such a great wife/Mom/person if life didn't keep throwing me curve balls...but those curve balls are what real life is made of. We never know what is coming. We have to learn to live and love in the reality that we are in. If we are always waiting for perfect circumstances to enable us to love well we are fooling ourselves. The only time I have had that experience was during the week of my honeymoon.

No more excuses. I don't want to blame the imperfectness of life for my shortcomings. I want to know the Lord in an intimate way where the fruit of the Spirit is evident in my life regardless of my circumstances.

But what happens when we live God's way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard—things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. (Galatians 5:22 The Message)

It may take a long time before this fruit is evident even in the midst of a nasty stomach bug...but I am striving.

Randomness from the Sick Bay

Day Four of dealing with the recycled stomach contents of my children has worn me down. Just when I think we are in the clear and hours have gone by with no action, someone gets sick again. I am not feeling so hot tonight and I honestly cannot tell if it is out of disgust, exhaustion or true illness.

So, instead of thinking hard tonight, I opted to share some of my latest distractions with you. (I have spent A LOT of time at home in the last several days.)

First of all, these sticky mosaics were a birthday gift that we have enjoyed immensely during these long days at home. I found several different sets online for both boys and girls. They are great for developing fine motor skills, matching and they have kept my children absorbed and busy for hours!!!

We have also discovered Tom & Jerry cartoons. It would have never occurred to me that my children would enjoy these oldies, but after seeing them at a friend's house they were hooked. I found some at Target and believe it or not at my offensive magazine-free Kroger! They have also discovered Wipeout.

At least two hours have been spent making our own t-shirts thanks to a kit the children received from friends for their birthday. K is all about as much color and decoration as possible. Her three shirts have each taken almost two days to dry because of the amount of paint she uses. I am a minimalist. I am getting strong signals that she is definitely not! P designed one that says "I love blowfish" and another that has buttons all over the front like a robot. R made one with his name and his adoration of blowfish as well. (Unfortunately, it is not the real creatures in nature they love...it is a game on my iphone!)

We have also loved watching our skyscraper sunflowers bloom outside the sunroom window. We planted two packs of seeds on Earth Day. In 2 1/2 months they have grown to 8 feet tall! I am not really a green thumb at all. These have been so easy/low maintennance to grown and amazing to watch.

I am off for an early bedtime in hopes that health lies on the other side of this day (and mindful that it could always be worse!)

Muck is Yuck!

The last 20 hours in our home have been less than pleasant. Two of my shiny happy people turned into lethargic, vomit-producing machines somewhere around 10pm. It started with a little voice from upstairs, "Momb, could you come help me out wiff all da bomit in my bed?"

After stripping his bed, changing his sheets, cleaning him up, lining the floor with beach towels, and getting everything going in the laundry room my hubby appeared with another armful of sheets.
"Again?" I asked.
"Worse than that" he replied. "Different child..."
Oh, joy!

Poor P had to settle for pink sheets, as it was all I had left. Unfortunately, there was much more where that had come from. Somewhere around 3 am everyone settled in for a restful evening.
I am not sure if it was the delirium, but I somehow found a sweet moment in the midst of the disgustingness when R was lying in his bed on one side of the room offering advice and moral support to his ill brother on the other side of the room.
"P, if you jus' can keep your mouf weally closed da bomit won't come out. Keep it weally, weally closed."
I warned you I was delirious.

Today has been filled with lots of crafts, resting, 'screen time,' and even more Clorox, Lysol and laundry. This too shall pass...

God also showed me a powerful lesson last night as I plucked my sick, smelly children from the foulness they had been wallowing in. Truth be told, recycled stomach contents make me gag. Somehow that aversion can be conquered when the object of your heart's affection needs rescue from it. When I looked into that filth, my senses' disgust was overpowered by my love for my poor helpless child.

It is much like my sin and the rescue of my God. (Except I am nowhere near perfect and can often be found wallowing in muck of my own making.)

⁶You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. ⁷Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. ⁸But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:6-8 (NIV)

Love is a powerful thing.

A Happy 5th of July

Our 4th of July started well, but an upset tummy left R & me sidelined last night while the rest of the family enjoyed festivities (including fireworks.) Thankfully, everyone felt much better by midday today. After baths tonight we took in a few fireworks at dusk.

While the children lined up on our back stairs for Daddy's driveway display, I had my eyes (and camera lens) focused on them. It was a gorgeous display in its own right.



It was a little difficult to tell what K thought about the various fireworks. Will she ever come out of her shell?

Daddy did a great job...but this is what set my heart a flutter.
And the grand finale...
Seriously, I adore these people in a way I never understood was possible.

And for posterity, these laughs were from saying "bad egg" (a quote from a Max & Ruby episode that my children find hysterical.) Silly, silly children, I love you & your Daddy so much!

Overheard

Last week when I picked the boys up from basketball camp, they were shirtless.
"Were you playing 'shirts and skins?'" I asked.
"No, MOM," came the reply, "we were playin' BASKETBALL."


*************
This morning while we were playing house.
K: "I figured it out, Mom. Girls love Jesus and boys love Star Wars." P: "Boys can love Jesus. You love Jesus, right, Dad?"
R: "Boys can love 'em both, but girls just love Jesus."
(The funniest thing about this is that we don't have a single Star Wars thing in our house, but it is THE boy game on the playground at our school.)

**************
Last night as R & I watched fireworks on television because he had been ill and unable to go to a friend's house.
R: "Momb, I think after I bomit one more time I will be ready to go to the party."
(Unfortunately, it was already after 10pm at this point.)